boring life..
meaningless life..
feel so suffocated..
i need a breather..
my mind is not thinking i guess
i actually tried making myself aneroxic
hoping that i will fall ill and can dont do anything
but gave up after 1 day for the vomiting part after every meal may injure my throat
my voice is the only thing i have..

i dont know.
like i said people around me changed.
i think i have changed too
nowadays.
unless with certain personels
i dont like to talk..
like since when..
talking has become a very tiring thing to do..
its like now i hope that i suffered from some illness
then i dont have to go back
or say anything

mrt train is a place where u can actually encounter all kinds of people
(remember the crazy woman who came to scold us the other time?)
this time, theres this guy
he behaved like so suspiciously
as we were sitting opposite
i literally witness him using his camera handphone
taking picture of this guy few seats down
and its like u can see him trying to hide his flash
aiming his phone camera at the guy
then when the guy alight the train
the weird weird guy sitting opposite immediately gave chase at a safe distance
such interesting encounter
didnt realise i am such a good observer.
and i even had a story line drawn up for why he is secretly tailing and taking pictures of the other guy
must be some private investigator or smth

this week had been awful.
everyday i am like drowning myself in sorrow
mentally fatigue
breakdown twice this wk already.
sighs
and btw.
my idol, ayumi hamasaki has gone deaf in her left ear..
sighs

another case of fragile life.
mc king passed away yesterday due to some sudden health problems
i was reading the papers about it and cant help but to feel saddened
although he was not those very popular people
but still he had a significant place in my childhood
i mean who doesnt watch him on tv when we were young
sighs.
being taken away freedom to do things i dont want to do
life to me is already meaningless
some people are struggling to live
yet some people does not have the will to live
sadly i think i belong to the latter.
i think i need to see a psychologist soon..

changes.
occurs all the while
is inevitable
everyone changes.
some change for the sake of blending into the crowd
some change such that they can outshine others
i feel that people around me are always moving forward
yet i am always stagnant =/
maybe simply because i dont like changes.
and i will take very very long time in order to adjust
in which the adjusting period i mood is like uber low.
sighs.

waited for e ocs to like finally come out
and nan ge brought us to some very famous bak kut teh place for supper
i mean the food is nice.
but not say till very nice
dont understand how come why its so famous.
sighs.

its like now seeing terms related to country irks me..
government.
country.
nation.
pride.
discipline.
honour.
excel.
ocs.
the list goes on and on..
i seriously thinks i am down with depression..

sometimes..
maybe we are all from different worlds..

i'm just your typical guy. adolescent, dealing with growing pains just as any other normal human would. except what sets me apart is that i am lewis and i am the supposed owner of this forsaken web page. i'm odd in the way that i have very frequent moodswings and i argue a lot with everyone. so i guess i'm your typical, not-so-typical guy.
i'm just who i am. metro, a SNAG and the oh-so-annoying bitch. lazy, cranky, irritable and irritating in every way. just living out my life as normal as i possibly can. with friends that can hurt me to the core and enemies that surprise me. it's no wonder i keep this blog.